you don’t understand
everything taken for granted
unsure, off balance once again
why is it that we always seem to be at this crossroads
one giving one taking
both pushing in opposite directions
never meeting in the middle
until that time when we begin to cave
and neither one is ready to fall
to give up completely and walk away
because to do so is admitting failure
in a sense, to not try again, to give in, give up
whether in one piece, or broken-shattered
so we stay, another day to rip each other apart
to shred that last remnant of dignity and honor
love and joy that may remain
why are they no longer enough?
********************
is it possible to know your own heart
when everything you thought you wanted
turns out to be nothing like you had planned
love and understanding
believe in me
stifling, unreal
overwhelmingly sad
to be wanted, loved
once was my salvation
now it is merely my prison
what seemed once the whole entirety of me
all I would ever need
now is merely a shadow of who I am
but who I never thought I could be
is this all there is
day to day
living happily not saying those words
the ones deep down inside
screaming to be set free
or at least understood
wanting to feel the depths of being
heart and soul
passion, joy, pleasure and overwhelming desire
does love always start out that way
brimming full, running over
only to fade to a golden haze
misty eyed, comfort, companionship
until the day you realize
living in denial at its fullest
smothered in the everyday monotony of life
lost forever, settled in the rut of contentment?
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