Desire

I breathe easily
Silence all around
And then the pain
The joy
Warm
Flowing freely
tearing its way through my every cell

From a touch
Your smile
A mere thought of you

You are the heroin in my veins
burning pleasure
Painful and overwhelmingly beautiful

Over time it fades away
slips to the dark area
the in-between where all dreams lie

But a word, one simple “hello”
a laugh or touch
Brings the monster ripping,
clawing its way out of the dark recess of my soul
Tearing a path straight to my heart

Nothing hides, all of me
Exposed, open
Subject to your every whim
The prick of the needle lies in your smile
Your laughter lifts me higher
Over the top and crashing down into oblivion

My heart slows, breathing even
Fade to black
return to myself once again
To wait, to dream
To know this addiction,
the drug of you

Will always remain inside of me
waiting, endless
loving the pain
wanting the overwhelming simplicity
of simply being
with you


********************************************

It's dark and I can't even explain it. you are all of it..pain and pleasure beyond words to me. I want it, always, even in knowing what it may bring. Selfish indulgence.....it just is.

*********************************************


and i wake up once more with empty arms
and my thoughts consumed with you.
your arms, your eyes
your mouth and lips
your perfect hands

you fill my every heartbeat
with a sense of wonder and loss
i hold you in my arms
once again to tell you goodbye
but the hours,
those wondrous, stolen moments
within hello and now
exquisite~golden
take my breath away

hit the bottom, only one way to go from here...up

the air wrapped around me
like a child
a blanket, safe and warm
while the rain fell slowly to the ground
the leaves whispered a tale of love

your name is on the wind today
a soft caress on my skin
the memories drift on
and a tear falls gently to the ground
one solitary tear
all alone, floating down
I can relate
I've felt that way too


************************************


battered and bruised
my heart lies open
not knowing which way to go
the turmoils and struggles in this lifetime
are too much to overcome
I wish for a moment
a smile, a touch
to know that someone cares
but the cold and lonliness
echo the silence in my head
and there is nothing left


******************************************


way down deep
inside of me
there are things
you cannot see
things i don't
want you to know
kept locked inside
down below
underneath my smiling face
lies a cold
and empty place

examine the pieces

who tells a heart to lie

to look into the eyes of pain

everything you once spoke-false

then what is love, honor, trust

mistakes and pain

imperfections abound

they have been there all along

it took you until now to know

that you could not abide these in me?


**************************************


why is it so easy for you
to walk away without a care
to continue on
the road alone

how can we just not be
was everything a lie
a fleeting moment
of happiness and joy

all that remains
whispers and dreams
promises floating in the still of darkness

do i matter to anyone here
what can i do to make you care
not to stay
but to give a damn

everything i thought was true
and real
no warning, just gone

tell me it wasn't all a lie
even if it was
before i shatter and fade away

let go

i lost a small piece of my heart today

i smiled through the tears

as it fell to the ground

shattering, broken

i smiled through my tears

as i picked up the pieces

i put them in a box for you

the pieces of my heart

the pain is more than i expected

the loss bigger than i knew

but the joy

the beauty i have seen

is enough to fill the empty space

all the tomorrows i dreamed about

the yesterdays i know

were only that

just dreams and wishes

not meant to come to light

had i known it would be

the last time i could hold you

touch your face

hear your voice

get lost in your eyes

i would have held on

for just a moment longer

listening to the sounds of your heart

perhaps it's better that i didn't

if i had held you just a little longer

maybe i wouldn't be able to let you go

set you free

and watch as you discover

all you're meant to become

i don't know why i was put into your life

but i am glad you came into mine

for a brief, shining moment

you saw me

the real me

and allowed me to become

a bright flame, burning, feeling

being

i wish you happiness and joy

wherever life takes you

The Beginning of the End

you don’t understand
everything taken for granted
unsure, off balance once again
why is it that we always seem to be at this crossroads
one giving one taking
both pushing in opposite directions
never meeting in the middle
until that time when we begin to cave
and neither one is ready to fall
to give up completely and walk away
because to do so is admitting failure

in a sense, to not try again, to give in, give up
whether in one piece, or broken-shattered
so we stay, another day to rip each other apart
to shred that last remnant of dignity and honor
love and joy that may remain
why are they no longer enough?


********************


is it possible to know your own heart
when everything you thought you wanted
turns out to be nothing like you had planned

love and understanding
believe in me
stifling, unreal
overwhelmingly sad
to be wanted, loved
once was my salvation
now it is merely my prison

what seemed once the whole entirety of me
all I would ever need
now is merely a shadow of who I am
but who I never thought I could be

is this all there is
day to day
living happily not saying those words
the ones deep down inside
screaming to be set free
or at least understood

wanting to feel the depths of being
heart and soul
passion, joy, pleasure and overwhelming desire

does love always start out that way
brimming full, running over
only to fade to a golden haze
misty eyed, comfort, companionship
until the day you realize
living in denial at its fullest
smothered in the everyday monotony of life
lost forever, settled in the rut of contentment?